I had some friends cut down a christmas tree from campus somewhere and put it up in their dorm room. The only thing is, real christmas trees are not allowed because they’re a crazy fire hazard…They bought one of those things you would put a live plant in (a planter?), some 90 degree brackets, and some screws and screwed the tree down. Then they built a false top and sprinkled dirt and rocks (again taken from campus) on it to make it look like the tree was planted in dirt. They convinced our RA that they had an uncle who had a tree farm and allowed them to dig up a real tree to use for the year. My absolute favorite part is that they returned the saw they used to walmart.

I was an RA. I had 8 residents trap a raccoon and bring it into their dorm to “domesticate” it. Guess what happens when you let a Raccoon in the dorm? It f**ks shit up.

Guy down the hall was just nasty. Smelled bad, slovenly, but very friendly. He never went to class. You might be thinking “gamer”, but nope – he was a day trader. Always told us about his wins/losses for that day. Anyway, this was before mobile devices, and he hardly ever left his computer as a result. Traded in movements of pennies. So he had milk jugs to pee in. He told us proudly about how much time he saved by peeing in milk jugs. I presumed he’d dump them out routinely, but the first time I caught sight of his room I learned the truth. It was as messy as you’d imagine, but then I saw the jugs. All over his room. The floor, windowsill, computer desk. My memory is hazy by now, but I’d say he had at least 20 1-gallon milk jugs full of piss in his room. To be fair I couldn’t verify that they were all actually full or just waiting in reserve, but at a glance at least some of them were clearly topped off. And honestly, how many gallons of piss is really acceptable to keep in your room?

We had a dude moved onto our hall because his roommate was shitting and pissing in the corner of his room.

My dorm had a Secret Santa thing where your Santa would give you a task to do, and if you completed it, you’d get a gift. In the packed dining hall one night shortly before Christmas break, a huge, hairy, completely naked man jumps onto a table, tucks his junk between his legs, and screams “daddy only likes me when I’m a little girl!”. My roommate was his Santa, and as a reward for completing the task, she gave him a teddy bear wearing overalls.

One guy peed on a cookie sheet and let it freeze outside in winter. He took said frozen sheet of pee and slid it under another guy’s door when he wasn’t there. All the rooms in that dorm were carpeted.

One of my friends girlfriends had a roommate that would masturbate almost every night, she said it sounded like someone vigorously stirring macaroni. I remember this story EVERY time i cook macaroni…

A guy that was wasted and tripping balls went into the wrong room in the middle of the night and was thrown out of said room, across the hall and through the wall into my old room. Turns out there had been a giant hole there that was cheaply patched up years ago, otherwise there should have been no way he could have gone straight through the wall. It was a cold night, but my roommate and I pushed s dresser up to attempt to cover the hole until someone could fix it. Good times.

One day I woke up to a sink sitting in the hallway. Like a sink that is built into a counter top or something. Someone must have just ripped a sink out of a counter top, from a different building, and put it in the hallway…on the fourth floor.

Lived in a 21 floor tower, something like 1600 students lived in it. 4 guys decided to have a jam session in an elevator and go up and down the building – had drums, guitar, saxophone, and vocalist. I think every single floor wanted to murder them.

My college divided the dorms into “houses” the idea being that you would do stuff with your house and form a community. The problem was that I already had a group of friends and this community was completely obnoxious. So I went to the first required meeting and then promptly did nothing with them ever again. Fast forward two months and two girls who live down the hall run up to me and ask to take a picture with me which I thought weird but sure. Turns out that it was so uncommon for people in my house to see me that I was an item in a photo scavenger hunt.

The Slip & Slide we had on the ground floor was pretty epic but probably not as epic as this one girl. For some reason she decided to fuck twelve guys on her floor and turn the peep hole backwards. Reverse peep hole “Seinfeld” style for everyone to see. I’m fairly confident she didn’t graduate

One of the RAs got fired…I can’t remember why. He had a week to move out of his dorm room, and it coincided with Mother’s weekend. Lots of moms visiting campus. He decided to get a keg and invite a bunch of people over as a “fuck you” to his bosses. His room was larger than most, since he was an RA. When they broke up the party the people stumbling out were frat bros and drunk moms, and a couple of grandmothers.

So last winter in Boston there was about 102” of snow over the winter. Being college kids, we proceeded to build an igloo on the roof of our dorm and proceeded to hotbox it. Good times.

RA here. Seen some shit, but the worst was when I was a freshman – I had this roommate, Mike. Mike was a shithead. Came from money, parents bought him a decently nice car at 16, he modified the shit out of it, he thought he was the shit and he could do anything he wanted. One night, Mike decides he’s gonna get very drunk, maybe take some pills. At some point during the night, for a reason we still don’t know, he decided he did not like the plate glass window in the hallway of our dorm, so he dropped his shoulder and plowed into it. Spiderwebbed the entire thing. At some point later that night, he wanted to talk to some people we knew on a balcony down the hall. Instead of walking down the hall and into their room, he opened a window and headbutted the screen out so he could lean out and yell at them. At some point later in the night he did cocaine and I woke up to a bunch of my shit duct-taped to the wall of our room.

I studied abroad in Australia last semester. We would leave the doors to the residence halls open during the day so they didn’t get too hot. One day, I heard a huge commotion in the hallway, so I open my door and THERE’S A KANGAROO HOPPING DOWN THE HALLWAY. It went in the door at one end of the hall and hopped all the way through and out the door on the other end. I miss that place.